The game has changed and other confusing twists

My first post of the New Year,

I really need to write more often, but I guess writing every couple weeks gives me more to cover..

To start off, 2010 has been so different then 2009!

For starters, after a very confusing meeting with Alex New Years Eve I wrote him a very long e-mail saying that he cant and wont be using me anymore, that just because his love interest shot him down, doesn't mean he could come crawling back to whatever pathetic thing we might have had..

I just got every thing down that I wanted to say, all the things that I held in so many times so I didn't hurt his feelings or give him something to fight about..

When I would try to bring up serious stuff before he would freak out on me and I would learn to just keep what was inside my head quiet....well to him anyway.

I decided that he was asshole and no matter how much he begged, how much he promised, that he would always still be the same ole Alex, who never thinks of anyone but himself.

So I sent him that e-mail and let me tell you... I was so nervous for his reaction because i've seen him mad, but what the hell I am not afraid of him!

He replied almost instantly and it took me by surprise how easy he took all that I had to say, he then went on and on about he wanted to make it right, blah blah blah..

I will admit that at times I cant be a total bitch, I can chew someone out and tear them apart (verbally) if they get me mad enough, but there are days every now and again where I suddenly feel bad for all that i've said.. even if it was the truth...

That is why I am so glad I have my cousin E, she is the sane one, the very clear voice that shows me not only one angle, but all of them.

She reminded me that for those 3 months that he left me, I was nothing to him, He never called, never texted.. .. Zip... Zero.. Nada. And then she said, "You have doubts about how he made you feel, go back and read your blog entries" (which I had completly forgotten about) and It wasnt 10 seconds later that I realized that Alex is and Ass. So thank you E, for talking sense into me when its needed (so 99% of the time) :)

Oh back to what Alex had to say, he kept texting and calling saying we needed to talk and I finally texted him, "Alex, it wouldnt do any good to sit and chat about all of this, I have made up my mind, I remember all those times when you made me feel the most lowest possibly thing on the planet, you made me feel stupid and vulnerable, I am done Alex....."

And he had texted twice since then saying "Have you made up your mind to forgive me yet"

He is so frustrating because he clearing states in his email that if I didnt want to be friends anymore, to tell him and he would leave it at that... Ha.. yeah.. that hasn't worked out..

The only reason I didnt want to say certain things to him is because he is still my Brother-in-Law's BEST friend.. So i'll still see him every family gathering (actually according to him he "Doesnt want to put me in that situation" so he wont be showing up to any more of my nieces parties, but that is his problem . Not Mine.

I am just so relieved to be done with him, I look back at all the time wasted and just smile knowing that he wont ever waste my time ever again.

Alright, so on to the Scotty Drama.

He has been calling and texting about "us" wanting to know why I don't like him like that.. Oh and did I mention he keeps texting me about his random hook-ups with guys because apparently he is "Bi-sexual" now..

I told myself that I would just say "I like you as my friend, that is it" because despite all of his hookups he says he still likes me, and personally he just annoys the hell out of me now.. But once again I guess that was only a 2009 mistake..

I just hate the way he acts.. most of the time, trying to make me feel bad and acting hurt when I dont give him special attention.. Bleh.. boys boys boys.....

Enough loser guys that I am over, and have been over for awhile (they just need to catch up)

I think I am almost done wrapping this blog entry up...

I am trying to think if there is anything else I need to mention....

I can't think...I will prob remember something after I post this.. Ah well..

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! I love ya!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 2009 is OVER!!!