I feel so hollow right now.. like.. I'm going to just... vanish in thin air at least that would solve something
WHAT SHOULD I DO..
The Warden has given me till June 1st to be out then BOOM
The house gets an offer and we all have to get out in a month... Then my Mom tells me we are moving to Hurricane until our house is finished. Far from Friends.
Work.
LIFE.
The alternative is living with my mousy sister ! HELL NO
THen my Mom pitches the idea of living with her 2 months longer past the Kick Out day.. oh thats nice of her!
Except that I will have to watch my siblings. NO PAY.
Never break curfew and live by her rules.. Shall we review them?
No bringing guys home,
No talking about Guys,
No hanging out past Midnight..
NO FUN NO LIFE WHHHYYY
I am seriously done with all this Drama SHIT
I am a loser for getting a job so late.
I'm a loser for not having any BACK UP money...
I am a loser for...just....everything.. Why do I even try anymore.. I'm done.
I feel so empty.. But I guess i'm just some whiney loser that doesn't deserve to be happy.
soooooooo empty.. I can feel it... I can actually feel it... I'm no one.. Nothing..
..........................
what am i going to do...
....I cant.....I just cant do this anymore...
.....
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Ripple Effect
I shouldn't be up!
I am sooo going to regret this in the morning, I have to work at 8:30... So if i'm late for work.. I blame my mind!
I have just been thinking a lot, about how we effect people. How each and everything we do... no matter if we know it or not... effects other people.
I wonder how many people i've effected for the bad.. I know I try and tell myself that I wouldn't, that I would do anyting I could to never hurt someone else.. But have I? I have no idea!
Am I the only one that really thinks about this at the end of the day? OF all the stuff I think about? Is it normal for so many topics, and so many hurtful cuts to go through a persons mind before bed..?
I've met someone. His name is Zach. He is 17. Still in high school.
We've kissed. We've hung out. He is a really great guy. But at the end of the day I panic, I don't ever want to ruin his chances of finding his High School Guy, like I never could. He is confident, and very charming.
I have actually stood up to him, I've told him that I won't rush things more then we already have. Because he is young. He has time to experience everything.. He just gets so angry with me. I feel like this stupid, horrible person because I just want him to find someone SANE. As much as i'd like to think myself sane. I know it isnt true. I mean look at me.. I sit and I type my feelings to a souless computer screen, I hope and I SCREAM through the text for someone to understand me... My life (on the outside) does not seem difficult. I wake up every day, in a air-conditioned, 2-story house. I get up and complain about going to work when I know that someone is out there needing a job. I drive my car to work when someone has to take a bike or a bus. I come home from work tired... BUT FROM WHAT? Standing at a register!? How pathetic am i!?
Take a look at the people i've been with. Alex. He lives life as if he never met me, and I'm happy about that.. but look how much he has changed me.. I panic at the thought of relationships because I secretly think back to how much I wanted him, and how much he DIDNT. WANT. ME. I sat up at night and blogged about him, and before i blogged about him I cried about him not wanting me...
Then someone comes along (fast forward to Cody) or whatever the hell I named him in this blog... He came along and I thought I was happy, but when it came down to him wanting me, I found that I really didnt want him.. That yes.. We had things in common but at the end of the day, we were too different, thats how it always is...
WE ARE TOO DIFFERENT. So many similarities but SOOO many differences..... I always mope around and cry about someone wanting me.. but when they come along, I find the bad in them. I find the evil little atribute, a little flaw and I panic. Where will this go? How long will we be together? How... when... what....
I always complain about it being their fault that the relationship wont work.. But I know its mine. I know that i'm broken.. And i guess I try to make them see that... Because I am Broken. I am missing some peices... I'm sure it. Why the hell cant I just be happy when someone comes along that wants me..
I've pushed Zach away, he is always calling.. Wanting to hang out, and just snuggle, but why do that when I know that eventually he will get bored of the way I always push away, I love kissing. I love Being with another person. But when it comes down to it. I feel like... "if the relationship doesnt last...why try"
Maybe.. once I get a place of my own... a place that doesnt drive me insane.. A place where my siblings dont drive me crazy or a mother who picks and prods and tears at me until I feel like I'd rather die then be her son. Maybe then.. I can let someone in my life and actually let them in. That I can be honest with them and they wont hate me.. I keep passing up all these chances with guys.. should I let them be passing? Should I have broken up with Karson because he was strange and liked weird things? Should I have cut off all relations to Alex?, To Jude? Or Cody? Did I not try hard enough.. ? Pretty soon the chances will stop. Pretty soon I will get to the end of a list and there will be a blank page of nothingness, what will I do then?
Alex has a new... whatever the hell he calls it.. Boyfriend, Fuckbuddy, friend...
Jude has a boyfriend, they've been going out for months..
Karson is moving to Murray to be with someone he met.
Cody has a boyfriend that he met shortly after we broke up.
Everyone is taking their chances as they come.. and i've pushed mine away.. I don't regret cutting the strands of those relationships.. because its showed them that they all didn't really want a guy like me.. they wanted a guy who they met. I'm just the "Lesson teacher"
Alex found someone more tolerante of his "Confused Sexuality"
Jude found someone not as needy.
Karson found the insane romantic.
Cody found the guys who "Actually tried"
What can I do to be a better person? Am I doomed to be the one who dates, kisses, breaks up then watches them find the right guy?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Oh shitt.. Here comes "Father Talk" I wanted to just mention that its been almost a year now that he has been gone.. The ripple of that loss is still effecting us.
My sister came down crying about how much she missed him..
I just realized so many things... No Father there when her Date for her first dance comes.. Zac won't ever get to go on Father and Sons... Or go out scouting trips with my Dad that I hated..
He cries sometimes too..saying how he misses my Dad reading him every night.. And it breaks my heart.. Why did I get to have all those memories with him... Why did I get that time..and he didnt? My siblings annoy the hell outta me, but I still would want them to grow up with their Dad being there. Little talks, Projects arounds the house , that I hated doing, Helping him hold the ladder for Christmas lights, Taking trips to the dump to dump weeds and garbage from the backyard and then randomly stopping at a burger for fries and a drink just us guys.. Him randomly and awkwardly asking me about girls I liked, Or about Sex (which was pretty much a forbidden topic) He would get so embarresed even bringign it up.. the few times he did...
I look at my little brother and I just... fight back tears thinking how it must be for him.. I mean its hard for ME! I am crying right now I mean I am almost 19 years old... How must it be for a 10 year old to lose his Dad... It isnt fair. I say it often. I think it often about EVERYTHING.. Its not Fair that hes gone, Its not Fair that I suck at reltionships.. Its not Fair that I have to deal with a rude Mom.
When will it ever start being fair... ?
Broken Hearts never heal.. I'm sure it.
People say that Love can mend a broken heart.. Its been a year. When does it ever FEEL healed? No matter how many years go by. Hes still gone. What is supposed heal about that?
I'm done pouring out my soul for the night..
If anyone is still reading.... Thank you.
And if your not.... Ah well... It isn't worth the time wasted to read thoughts of another person.. Actually I disagree with that.. I love hearing thoughts of other people but i'm sure MY thoughts... are better kept inside my head...I guess I just feel like if they are on here... that I can stop thinking about them for a while..
night.
-joshua
I am sooo going to regret this in the morning, I have to work at 8:30... So if i'm late for work.. I blame my mind!
I have just been thinking a lot, about how we effect people. How each and everything we do... no matter if we know it or not... effects other people.
I wonder how many people i've effected for the bad.. I know I try and tell myself that I wouldn't, that I would do anyting I could to never hurt someone else.. But have I? I have no idea!
Am I the only one that really thinks about this at the end of the day? OF all the stuff I think about? Is it normal for so many topics, and so many hurtful cuts to go through a persons mind before bed..?
I've met someone. His name is Zach. He is 17. Still in high school.
We've kissed. We've hung out. He is a really great guy. But at the end of the day I panic, I don't ever want to ruin his chances of finding his High School Guy, like I never could. He is confident, and very charming.
I have actually stood up to him, I've told him that I won't rush things more then we already have. Because he is young. He has time to experience everything.. He just gets so angry with me. I feel like this stupid, horrible person because I just want him to find someone SANE. As much as i'd like to think myself sane. I know it isnt true. I mean look at me.. I sit and I type my feelings to a souless computer screen, I hope and I SCREAM through the text for someone to understand me... My life (on the outside) does not seem difficult. I wake up every day, in a air-conditioned, 2-story house. I get up and complain about going to work when I know that someone is out there needing a job. I drive my car to work when someone has to take a bike or a bus. I come home from work tired... BUT FROM WHAT? Standing at a register!? How pathetic am i!?
Take a look at the people i've been with. Alex. He lives life as if he never met me, and I'm happy about that.. but look how much he has changed me.. I panic at the thought of relationships because I secretly think back to how much I wanted him, and how much he DIDNT. WANT. ME. I sat up at night and blogged about him, and before i blogged about him I cried about him not wanting me...
Then someone comes along (fast forward to Cody) or whatever the hell I named him in this blog... He came along and I thought I was happy, but when it came down to him wanting me, I found that I really didnt want him.. That yes.. We had things in common but at the end of the day, we were too different, thats how it always is...
WE ARE TOO DIFFERENT. So many similarities but SOOO many differences..... I always mope around and cry about someone wanting me.. but when they come along, I find the bad in them. I find the evil little atribute, a little flaw and I panic. Where will this go? How long will we be together? How... when... what....
I always complain about it being their fault that the relationship wont work.. But I know its mine. I know that i'm broken.. And i guess I try to make them see that... Because I am Broken. I am missing some peices... I'm sure it. Why the hell cant I just be happy when someone comes along that wants me..
I've pushed Zach away, he is always calling.. Wanting to hang out, and just snuggle, but why do that when I know that eventually he will get bored of the way I always push away, I love kissing. I love Being with another person. But when it comes down to it. I feel like... "if the relationship doesnt last...why try"
Maybe.. once I get a place of my own... a place that doesnt drive me insane.. A place where my siblings dont drive me crazy or a mother who picks and prods and tears at me until I feel like I'd rather die then be her son. Maybe then.. I can let someone in my life and actually let them in. That I can be honest with them and they wont hate me.. I keep passing up all these chances with guys.. should I let them be passing? Should I have broken up with Karson because he was strange and liked weird things? Should I have cut off all relations to Alex?, To Jude? Or Cody? Did I not try hard enough.. ? Pretty soon the chances will stop. Pretty soon I will get to the end of a list and there will be a blank page of nothingness, what will I do then?
Alex has a new... whatever the hell he calls it.. Boyfriend, Fuckbuddy, friend...
Jude has a boyfriend, they've been going out for months..
Karson is moving to Murray to be with someone he met.
Cody has a boyfriend that he met shortly after we broke up.
Everyone is taking their chances as they come.. and i've pushed mine away.. I don't regret cutting the strands of those relationships.. because its showed them that they all didn't really want a guy like me.. they wanted a guy who they met. I'm just the "Lesson teacher"
Alex found someone more tolerante of his "Confused Sexuality"
Jude found someone not as needy.
Karson found the insane romantic.
Cody found the guys who "Actually tried"
What can I do to be a better person? Am I doomed to be the one who dates, kisses, breaks up then watches them find the right guy?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Oh shitt.. Here comes "Father Talk" I wanted to just mention that its been almost a year now that he has been gone.. The ripple of that loss is still effecting us.
My sister came down crying about how much she missed him..
I just realized so many things... No Father there when her Date for her first dance comes.. Zac won't ever get to go on Father and Sons... Or go out scouting trips with my Dad that I hated..
He cries sometimes too..saying how he misses my Dad reading him every night.. And it breaks my heart.. Why did I get to have all those memories with him... Why did I get that time..and he didnt? My siblings annoy the hell outta me, but I still would want them to grow up with their Dad being there. Little talks, Projects arounds the house , that I hated doing, Helping him hold the ladder for Christmas lights, Taking trips to the dump to dump weeds and garbage from the backyard and then randomly stopping at a burger for fries and a drink just us guys.. Him randomly and awkwardly asking me about girls I liked, Or about Sex (which was pretty much a forbidden topic) He would get so embarresed even bringign it up.. the few times he did...
I look at my little brother and I just... fight back tears thinking how it must be for him.. I mean its hard for ME! I am crying right now I mean I am almost 19 years old... How must it be for a 10 year old to lose his Dad... It isnt fair. I say it often. I think it often about EVERYTHING.. Its not Fair that hes gone, Its not Fair that I suck at reltionships.. Its not Fair that I have to deal with a rude Mom.
When will it ever start being fair... ?
Broken Hearts never heal.. I'm sure it.
People say that Love can mend a broken heart.. Its been a year. When does it ever FEEL healed? No matter how many years go by. Hes still gone. What is supposed heal about that?
I'm done pouring out my soul for the night..
If anyone is still reading.... Thank you.
And if your not.... Ah well... It isn't worth the time wasted to read thoughts of another person.. Actually I disagree with that.. I love hearing thoughts of other people but i'm sure MY thoughts... are better kept inside my head...I guess I just feel like if they are on here... that I can stop thinking about them for a while..
night.
-joshua
Thursday, April 15, 2010
A circle of green
Wow.. Its been a while since i've posted...
Some things I haven't posted anything about.
The Warden is kicking me out June 1st, We got into a fight that I wasn't home to watch the kids (though I put my brother to bed and left for 2 hours)
The timeless argument with her was I had to be home to watch the kids because I didn't have a job and I was lazy.. Blah blah blah
Well I have a job now, Have I posted anything? I dont think so..
I am currently a Team Member of Main Street Burger King! Ugh... Who am I kidding, I have a super lame job! I almost feel like white-trash working there...
No offense to any Burger King Lovers, its just the people that work there, the atmosphere... Is just... kinda.. Scummy .. True there are good people that work there...but there are some that are.. not so good.... Like... "The Convict..." *Shudders*
I try not to judge people, ...But ..ANYWAY
The job is pretty easy, Though I cant understand most of the people who work there.
I am in charge of the Register and making sure the "Dining Room" (which sounds too fancy to be used to describe BURGER BARF) Is clean and spotless,
I was going to write a whole blog post on working but decided that It bores me.. .so i'm going to sum it up.
Its kinda horrible, The manager basically called me fat once, and I made one of the owners mad.. Ha but beside all the bad stuff its just.. alright..
Me and the Warden are barely speaking, I dont care. She chose to be rude.. She chose to have me out of her life once I'm out of this hell.. which will hopefully be soon...
I wanted to get to the real reason that got me to post tonight.. Which is super lame and boring..but I don't care...
Okay well there is an amazing book which I'm sure i've already talked about but its called Unwind, and I made some shirts for the movie for the contest and I sent them in. They are being judged and picked tomorrow,
Then about 2 weeks ago they sent out a survey and they were going to pick the most unique and creative answers for the survey, So I logged on to the blog (which I follow like a hawk looking for anyway possible to be in that movie)
So I filled out the survey and my answer was chosen as one of the 12-13 survey answers, I mean I'm not cool enough to have my name next to it.. But maybe they will even use it in the movie.. and when I see the movie i'll be like "That was totally my idea!" Lol...
To those who dont know what "Unwinding" is... I am not sure if I've already explained it in other posts... but i'll have to do it again, so sorry if its a repeat. .BUT
In the book there are charecters that their parents sign them up for Unwinding, and they are sent to Harvest Camps to be taken a part, organ by organ, piece by piece and distributed all over the world.
The story is set in "The near future" when Abortions are no longer allowed in the World, So you raise your child and if you sign them up for Unwinding, they will be Harvested between the ages of 13-18 If a Child is set up for Unwinding but lives till His or Her's 18th birthday, then the contract is broken and they are free to LIVE.
So they come up with Unwinding, a way to break apart the human body and still have every single piece still living, so its not murder, your just in a million little pieces and scattered, Eyes to a Blind Man, Ears to a woman that cant hear, Hands to a writer, a painter, a pianist, the list goes on,
The question's asked on the survey were,
1. Are you an Organ Donor?
2. Would you ever be Unwound
3. Would you most likely be okay with being Unwound if you knew your parts were going to something better?
4. If anything, what part of your body would you want Unwounded for a specific person, who do you think deserves it most?
(or something to that effect..)
ANSWERS (Only one made it on the page...Its the most cheesy one..but oh well...)
1. Yes.
2. I'm thinking if my Mom could Unwind me, She would.
3. Yes. If I knew exactly to who they were going to...
(remember the last answer is super lame ...but totally made it on the site!)
4. I would give my eyes, I've never liked my dull brown eyes. But I have been told that certain times that a circle of green can be seen in them, when i'm really happy. since I haven't seen it in a while, I would want to give them to an extremely happy person, that way the whole world can see the happy circle of green every day..
(Story behind this) I was at EFY (churchy thing...I know.. bleh) I was actually really happy, away from my family, hanging with tons of cute guys, just enjoying life... Someone walked up to me and told me I had pretty eyes, I was like "My eyes a dull and brown, I hate them" and they said, "Well you can see a ring of green almost in them" so I went and looked in a mirror and I totally could! It was crazy! It was dim but I was way cool looking, I Look for it sometimes and I cant find it... I know that sounds totally lame... and you readers are probably rolling your eyes, but it was a great feeling to be able to see how happy I was, and not feel lost..., So that was my honest answer.. If I was being Unwound I would ask that my Eyes be taken and Given to someone really happy, someone who could make the green shine, and just...change the world like I couldn't ya know?
Lets see, some of the other answers.... (not mine...but I liked them)
"I would donate my heart because a little boy who lives next door had a heart transplant. He is so sweet. Everyone should be given a chance to live life to its fullest, no matter what."
-"My eyes to my blind girlfriend"
I would donate my entire life to bring back my brother. Whatever it would take to have saved him I would give him.
"My hands to a brilliant author who would write the best novel ever."
Here is the website if you want to see it so you can tell i'm not making all this up! ;)
http://unwindmovie.com/UNWINDMOVIE/Blog/Entries/2010/4/11_BODY_PARTS_-_SURVEY_RESULTS.html
Just copy and paste it!
Seeing my comment on there made me feel like the world could hear me, I mean not a lot of people read that blog, not a lot of people haven't even read Unwind, But it was cool to give my opinion and have it used... I hope that my several e-mails to the maker of the movie get the point that I want to be in that movie!
I stayed up with the characters, I got SOOO submerged in the book.. I've probably already mentioned this in another post but.. I worried with the characters, I cried and laughed and just watched the story unfold completely terrified and wondering what was going to happen, That is why I want to BE in the movie, be an Extra, running away from The Cops at "Harvest Camp" Being in the group of people that meet up at "The Graveyard" I guess if anything i'll get to see the movie, so that's alright.
I am sorry i'm spending so much time on this... Hoping for something that is suuuuch a far stretch to even be considered, but... Dreaming and wishing is alright with me...
I don't think i'll be able to sleep knowing that they are judging the shirts tomorrow! Or..I guess today.. I know its not that big of deal.. Oh.. and I did look at the "Prize" And I think its a signed book or my name printed on the tag of the shirt as designer or something...But I hope they got my other messages about how I loved Unwind, I want to go meet the cast they pick... Alright sorry I'm trying not to obsess over it, I just feel good all of a sudden, FALSE HOPE.. .lol dang it
How...cool...would it be... to win...? lol i'm shutting up now..
Thank you for reading!
Everyone reading should comment (anonymously) on this question...
1. If you were sighed up to be Unwound... what parts would u want to go, and to who...oh and dont forget WHY! lol
Love u all! YOUR AMAZING!
-Joshua
Some things I haven't posted anything about.
The Warden is kicking me out June 1st, We got into a fight that I wasn't home to watch the kids (though I put my brother to bed and left for 2 hours)
The timeless argument with her was I had to be home to watch the kids because I didn't have a job and I was lazy.. Blah blah blah
Well I have a job now, Have I posted anything? I dont think so..
I am currently a Team Member of Main Street Burger King! Ugh... Who am I kidding, I have a super lame job! I almost feel like white-trash working there...
No offense to any Burger King Lovers, its just the people that work there, the atmosphere... Is just... kinda.. Scummy .. True there are good people that work there...but there are some that are.. not so good.... Like... "The Convict..." *Shudders*
I try not to judge people, ...But ..ANYWAY
The job is pretty easy, Though I cant understand most of the people who work there.
I am in charge of the Register and making sure the "Dining Room" (which sounds too fancy to be used to describe BURGER BARF) Is clean and spotless,
I was going to write a whole blog post on working but decided that It bores me.. .so i'm going to sum it up.
Its kinda horrible, The manager basically called me fat once, and I made one of the owners mad.. Ha but beside all the bad stuff its just.. alright..
Me and the Warden are barely speaking, I dont care. She chose to be rude.. She chose to have me out of her life once I'm out of this hell.. which will hopefully be soon...
I wanted to get to the real reason that got me to post tonight.. Which is super lame and boring..but I don't care...
Okay well there is an amazing book which I'm sure i've already talked about but its called Unwind, and I made some shirts for the movie for the contest and I sent them in. They are being judged and picked tomorrow,
Then about 2 weeks ago they sent out a survey and they were going to pick the most unique and creative answers for the survey, So I logged on to the blog (which I follow like a hawk looking for anyway possible to be in that movie)
So I filled out the survey and my answer was chosen as one of the 12-13 survey answers, I mean I'm not cool enough to have my name next to it.. But maybe they will even use it in the movie.. and when I see the movie i'll be like "That was totally my idea!" Lol...
To those who dont know what "Unwinding" is... I am not sure if I've already explained it in other posts... but i'll have to do it again, so sorry if its a repeat. .BUT
In the book there are charecters that their parents sign them up for Unwinding, and they are sent to Harvest Camps to be taken a part, organ by organ, piece by piece and distributed all over the world.
The story is set in "The near future" when Abortions are no longer allowed in the World, So you raise your child and if you sign them up for Unwinding, they will be Harvested between the ages of 13-18 If a Child is set up for Unwinding but lives till His or Her's 18th birthday, then the contract is broken and they are free to LIVE.
So they come up with Unwinding, a way to break apart the human body and still have every single piece still living, so its not murder, your just in a million little pieces and scattered, Eyes to a Blind Man, Ears to a woman that cant hear, Hands to a writer, a painter, a pianist, the list goes on,
The question's asked on the survey were,
1. Are you an Organ Donor?
2. Would you ever be Unwound
3. Would you most likely be okay with being Unwound if you knew your parts were going to something better?
4. If anything, what part of your body would you want Unwounded for a specific person, who do you think deserves it most?
(or something to that effect..)
ANSWERS (Only one made it on the page...Its the most cheesy one..but oh well...)
1. Yes.
2. I'm thinking if my Mom could Unwind me, She would.
3. Yes. If I knew exactly to who they were going to...
(remember the last answer is super lame ...but totally made it on the site!)
4. I would give my eyes, I've never liked my dull brown eyes. But I have been told that certain times that a circle of green can be seen in them, when i'm really happy. since I haven't seen it in a while, I would want to give them to an extremely happy person, that way the whole world can see the happy circle of green every day..
(Story behind this) I was at EFY (churchy thing...I know.. bleh) I was actually really happy, away from my family, hanging with tons of cute guys, just enjoying life... Someone walked up to me and told me I had pretty eyes, I was like "My eyes a dull and brown, I hate them" and they said, "Well you can see a ring of green almost in them" so I went and looked in a mirror and I totally could! It was crazy! It was dim but I was way cool looking, I Look for it sometimes and I cant find it... I know that sounds totally lame... and you readers are probably rolling your eyes, but it was a great feeling to be able to see how happy I was, and not feel lost..., So that was my honest answer.. If I was being Unwound I would ask that my Eyes be taken and Given to someone really happy, someone who could make the green shine, and just...change the world like I couldn't ya know?
Lets see, some of the other answers.... (not mine...but I liked them)
"I would donate my heart because a little boy who lives next door had a heart transplant. He is so sweet. Everyone should be given a chance to live life to its fullest, no matter what."
-"My eyes to my blind girlfriend"
I would donate my entire life to bring back my brother. Whatever it would take to have saved him I would give him.
"My hands to a brilliant author who would write the best novel ever."
Here is the website if you want to see it so you can tell i'm not making all this up! ;)
http://unwindmovie.com/UNWINDMOVIE/Blog/Entries/2010/4/11_BODY_PARTS_-_SURVEY_RESULTS.html
Just copy and paste it!
Seeing my comment on there made me feel like the world could hear me, I mean not a lot of people read that blog, not a lot of people haven't even read Unwind, But it was cool to give my opinion and have it used... I hope that my several e-mails to the maker of the movie get the point that I want to be in that movie!
I stayed up with the characters, I got SOOO submerged in the book.. I've probably already mentioned this in another post but.. I worried with the characters, I cried and laughed and just watched the story unfold completely terrified and wondering what was going to happen, That is why I want to BE in the movie, be an Extra, running away from The Cops at "Harvest Camp" Being in the group of people that meet up at "The Graveyard" I guess if anything i'll get to see the movie, so that's alright.
I am sorry i'm spending so much time on this... Hoping for something that is suuuuch a far stretch to even be considered, but... Dreaming and wishing is alright with me...
I don't think i'll be able to sleep knowing that they are judging the shirts tomorrow! Or..I guess today.. I know its not that big of deal.. Oh.. and I did look at the "Prize" And I think its a signed book or my name printed on the tag of the shirt as designer or something...But I hope they got my other messages about how I loved Unwind, I want to go meet the cast they pick... Alright sorry I'm trying not to obsess over it, I just feel good all of a sudden, FALSE HOPE.. .lol dang it
How...cool...would it be... to win...? lol i'm shutting up now..
Thank you for reading!
Everyone reading should comment (anonymously) on this question...
1. If you were sighed up to be Unwound... what parts would u want to go, and to who...oh and dont forget WHY! lol
Love u all! YOUR AMAZING!
-Joshua
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