Drowning in an ocean of thoughts

Wow.. ha here I am at the library posting..


Does it make me paranoid to hope that no one reading over my shoulder, I guess my posts arent as juicy as they were before, if you hadn't the few ones I have posted have been either really optimistic, or really depressing.



I finally watched "Remember Me" with the amazing and gorgeous Robert Patts,
I have to admit I wasn't feeling up to seeing it because.. I wont spoil anything but I had heard that someone dies...

I will let you go out and see it so I wont talk about it in full detail.. it just made me think alot of stuff.. How everyone has their own story, everything that happens in life has so many angles that most of us never see.

So if you in the mood to be depressed, I suggest you see it. I was already depressed when I saw it and it brought be down lower, haha but thats alright... I guess?

I have felt lately that I dont belong anywhere, even with people I should be trusting and depending on.. I feel like I dont belong with most of my friends, some seem too good for me, I know its probably just low self esteem but sometimes I can actually talk myself into feeling the lowest of low.. Stupid I know but I cant help it.. is there something wrong with me ? I ask myself that often...

I came to the library to talk about being depressed but i'm bored. Ha . I might cut this one short. Bleh

I really should go sign up for school.. it just seems like so much to do, its overwhelming..

Oh. I dont know if I mentioned that I wrote a couple of paragraphs as if I were being Unwound (from the book Unwind) and I set it to one of the producers of the movie and he loved it, Ha I dont know what I was hoping for, maybe.. I dont know having him call me to come be in the movie!? Lol but apparently what I wrote wasnt THAT amazing. My Prize (and i'm not trying to sound ungreatful...but.. ) Its a t-shirt. yaaaaay. Lol I know i'm a brat.. But I would rather have a role in the movie then a tshirt... but thats a long shot right? Why get your hopes up when you know it never turns out the way you want it to......

-Joshua